Too large to post as a status. Besides, I'm seriously starting to believe people quietly hate my bullshit narcissistic comments on my activities.

I most certainly haven't done much blogging since my last. Not as if it matters or anything.

Lets see, I've got a full time acting audition next week on Thursday 25Th. Before hand, I'll be the bitch of my acting teacher for as long as I can get him. $75 per hour I think he said. But I have to make sure that I actually remember my shit. Shakespeare I do, Steven Sewel, a bit rough. I know the words, I don't know the order the paragraphs are in and I'm constantly checking to see what's next which to me is a bad thing. I'm trying to get the last sentence of each paragraph to remind me what's next but NOOO! That's just not good enough. Yet.

I've lost what I was originally going to post up here but I'll write it again.

In my garage, there's a massive chest about 1 - 1.5m long, 0.5m tall, 0.8m wide. and pretty darn awesome. However there's a problem. Before when I did get the idea to move it to my room for a purpose I still have yet to figure out, recently, a family leather goods company apparently closed shop forever and the son of the original owners (The father I think died from cancer and I'm not sure about the mother) is just moving shit out. We ended up taking, a framing machine (More like a contraption since it uses a foot pedal instead of energy as it's driving force), a sewing machine and a whole heap of unfinished goods, three chairs, two shelves and a whole heap of scrap leather.

And since the current property our leather goods is being sold out to some other ungrateful cunt that simply can't choose the other empty lot two lots below us, all the shit that we got is moved into the garage and my room, blocking any relative path to the chest from my bedroom door that connects to the garage. (If you haven't figured it out, my bedroom is a basement. Yes I get a shit load of cockroaches down here but you'd be surprised at what else is in here. No, I'm not talking about other evil insects.)

So I'm sleeping with the aroma of leather and it's not pleasant. It makes me feel like I'm in a goddamn sweatshop. Working for my parents day in day out with no fucking rest or anything else to do.

Long story short, I want that chest in my room. I'll coat it with anti-rust spray and make it look good as new. And spend days trying to figure out what to put in it. Playwrights? Electronics and programming books? Robots and other electronics that I've acquired by taking apart printers? (I should actually throw some of that shit away. I'm not going to reverse engineer it. I'm not that advanced. Nor a beginner.)

If I was able to build a robot, I'd be as tall as my cat so it can entertain the little fuck wit instead of having her eat my hand. Luckily the bastards been living outside since it's no longer a kid. Welcome to the real world pussy.
If I was able to build another one that wasn't for animal entertainment (I'd build another for the dog. It would have a ball launcher like the tennis ball launchers) I'd build one to carry my shit, recharge my mobile and laptop and pickup chicks and shit.

Nerdy I know but bad ass nonetheless. Here's a concept art that I would be looking towards.

I've also have been trying to design up my own house and create it in 3D, apartment high rise, shopping centres but if I want to do it, I want to do it right and get absolutely everything in detail. That means every aspect of the building would have to be as of the current REAL Australian building standard papers that doesn't come cheap. Last time I checked, it costs around $200 - $1k both for either hard copy and soft copy. When I do finish it, I'll place it on Facebook as a game, get dosh off of it via ad revenue, add in guns and zombies. You know the rest. (I assume you do)

I did actually try to design a crib in Sketchup (The tool of the cheap architects) but seeing as I was left to assume the dimensions of everything, it was just a huge pile of confusing and frustrating shit. I eventually gave up and decided to design one myself. I subscribed to architecture channels on Youtube, somewhat or going to build up a wish list of books and tools and many other shit.

But seeing as I'm too busy to be practicing on monologues, the money that I would use to buy the standards paper is going to my teacher. He's awesome. Hard hitting but awesome. Mirror image of me actually.

Fuck this. This post is messy enough.

Jesus christ.

-EMR (Might start implementing this in later posts.)

Times be changing.

I've started too look at some of my past blogpost (Notably the depressive ones about how shitty my life have been) and under all that vague mind shit of a post I've come to realize that I have become greater at what I am doing.

Before this, I have been pretty fucking worried at my life at this point where if I don't nail this audition for the fulltime course that's coming up, I have literally another year of nothing to do but drag my face along the concrete until the next audition which I would most likely fail because of the lack of teaching and practice of my monologues. On Saturday the 2nd of October 2010, I had to preform my contemporary and Shakspearian monologues to three people. I fucked up one hard (Which seemed abnormal because I knew this kind of like a railroad track) on the Shakespeare one, and didn't do as well as I wanted to for my contemporary monologue since I preformed it to my teacher as practice before I headed off to lunch.

Afterwards they gave us notes about us. What they pretty much said above everything that I have already been told by past teachers before, but they told me somewhere along the lines that I didn't know what my charachter was doing in the scene, I didn't embody his emotions and I wasn't prepared. First two I agree upon, last bit of that I somewhat do. Long story short, I still had a shit load to do before I would ever think of being able to get in.

After that I had some ideas as to where I could possibly find the much needed information mainly in the Shakespeare monolouge (Romeo And Juliet) and yeah. Final and only preformance is on Tuesday the 12th and instead of the normal teacher I had before hand, the course director of the Power Of Preformance (The part time courses that I am in) is taking over from last Tuesday the 5th until the final preformance.

But overall, looking back I see now what my teachers are going off about. How much I've changed since the start of my first class and what not.

I guess that's it for now. Love the whole explination of the reason why I'm so worried to what I have been doing phase change. Fin.

'Tis been a while.

Indeed it has. I don't want to post much up since I'm going to bed soon. Little update for 2010.

Spending the first half of the year saving up for two courses both totaling up to $2900 but I might get a 10% discount given that I have already done two courses already, but that's if I pay in full. So from Monday to Friday, 9-3 I'm working. That's it.

Goodnight. Before this computer crashes for the fourth fucking time in a goddamn row.

Make or break.

Blog writing started at: 5:34 AM
Blog writing ended at : 6:24 AM

It's 5:34 AM on a Saturday morning. I've just sat here watching TV and thinking to myself as to what happened in my life and what the hell am I going to do. This soon progressed and changed into something more like WHO affected my life negatively and who could I trust later on. I've met quite a few people this year through ACA and each and every one of them have been the greatest of friends along with people whom I simply just met and talked for a bit and left them to go off on their own and disappear.

But I'm just still 18 years old. It's too early to start complaining about how much time I've wasted.

(Right now, I just don't feel like spilling too much. Keeping things to myself.)

I just don't feel like... Shit... I haven't had that feeling of normality where absolutely every problem in my life is just solved. Nothing to worry about. In about a few weeks from now, I'm about to audition for something dead set the most important event in my life thus far. If I don't get through, I'm unable to do anything that requires fees for the entire next year in which then I would have to simply try again. But I've planned quite a few private tutoring with my teacher who knows how to improve me very significantly. So hopefully things go well.

That's so far all I want/have to say for now. It's 6:24 AM. I'm going to bed.

The fall of depression.

It's been quite a long time since I did this. And given the long time, I thought I may as well update on a few things on my life.

Finished my first course of acting, onto the second. Six people turned up (Two familiar faces) to the first class and everything went absolutely unreal. In comparison to the first day of the first course, it was as if everyone knew each other so damn well there was absolutely no protection shell removal needed. (I've typed up 'absolutely' twice in that paragraph and both of them had incorrect spelling. Fuck me...)

Trying to fix the somewhat new computer. It runs but absolutely nothing appears on screen.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before but I've been working on a huge universe story thing which is pretty much numerous stories that cross over with each other every now and then. I'm not really working on it full time but I'm working on it slowly as things appear in my head.

I want to buy Zbrush (It's a professional 3D modeling program) mainly because rigging is skull fucking hard in Blender. Don't get me wrong, Blender is awesome it's just that its pretty god awful when it comes to modelling compared to Zbrush. (I really don't think you would understand a fucking thing in this paragraph) And after that, I'll save up for Adobe After Effects, Photoshop, Endorphin and that's it so far.

I have planned my life even further (Not that far.) in terms of what I'm going to do later on in education and life in general. YOU SHOULD TOO!

(Losing content ideas here)

There are a still a lot of things to do before I move ahead in my career. (Not that I have made any movement at all...) These are all things that would prevent me getting any jobs but once their done, not sure what I'll be doing but I'd just do whats given to me. (Fucking rambling.)


Enough with all the future crap.

When I look back at the past, I never realised how much shit I really have been put through and how I just so happen to survive all that. And I figured that if I was able to barge through all that, god knows where I'm going to end up. At most times I really do feel like I want to some how restart my life and avoid those mistakes and obstacles and everything else. But I guess that's just hardened me up. Along with showing me who are my enemies in life while watching them being crushed by their sheer arrogance and hate.

And under all that crap, I some how feel like something huge is going to happen. Not sure what or how. But it's going to happen.

I've changed. Alot in fact. I've become greater in the sense that I know I can do absolutely anything I want and the fact that I have the mindset of a greatly honored man and that I am going to simply let go of whats happened in the past. I have literally planned my life from what I'm doing, when I'm doing it, how and why. I know all the traps and I know how to avoid them.

Something great is going to happen to me. And when it does, each and every little motherfucking ingrate fuckwit will see what you just passed up. The opportunity that just stood in front of you before you abused it. When you cry for help. I will be there to kick your fucking skull in and tell you to go home as that's the only place you deserve to rot.

But for those who didn't and for those supported me. Welcome. Do anything you want just as long as you don't piss me off. I'm a very friendly guy. I'm more of the provider of entertainment and I'm not that easily angered so there's nothing to worry about.

That's so far all I have to say as of now. Goodnight, Facebook, Blogspot, Australia, NSW, Blacktown.